I met up with a writer’s group last Monday and at first I was a bit hesitant to do so. I didn’t feel like I should be in cahoots with a group of writers. And also, it was Monday night and raining, and Mondays at my 9-5er usually do my head in.
But I’m glad I went along, because they were great and it was just nice to be around a nice bunch of people, outside of my tight-knit circle of friends, with whom I shared a common interest . I don’t think I would’ve been able to do this 3 years ago. I don’t think I would’ve been able to do this even 5 years ago.
Back then I didn’t think I had anything to write about. I thought, “If I don’t have anything to write about, then I’m effectively a shit writer”. It’s only been in the past year or so I’ve realised that what you write has nothing to do with how you write. You just have to write. I still don’t have anything to write about (preferring to write about other people) and all in all I’m no Hemingway but being a writer means you just sit down, and write.
I’m not getting any younger but I’ve become a little more courageous. So I now know that I need to make a concerted effort to write, lest I look back on my life in my twilight years and wish I had pursued my passion. I didn’t have this courage before, preferring to go another route (career-wise) instead and always wondering why I didn’t feel any satisfaction from what I was doing. And it’s not like I had shitty jobs or worked with shitty people or shitty companies. In fact, it’s been quite the opposite. And then I just ended up feeling guilty for wanting to quit my jobs (yes) because I knew how lovely these roles and companies were. For people who gave a shit. Which I didn’t. I was happier when I was doing the writing tasks for my roles, but couldn’t find the drive to put my all into other parts of my responsibilities. And I dearly wanted to, trust me!
I’m happy to say that I’m back on track and following my passion. Not my dreams, no. Calling writing a “dream” kind of makes it sound like it’s smooth sailing and easygoing, which it so is not. Finding the time, energy and inspiration to write is hard, and networking and pitching scare the bejesus out of me. But I’m doing more of it, and slowly, slowly I will get better at the business of writing. And then one day, hopefully, I will actually be better at writing.
But I’m very glad I went out last Monday night to meet with the Sydney Writer’s Meetup Group. Very glad indeed.