A funny thing happened on the way to the sex scene …

Like being an actor wasn’t soul-baring enough …

So last night the Mister and I went to watch a play, one that was run as part of this year’s Sydney Fringe Festival. I love this festival. It supports new and emerging talent, left-of-centre entertainment and generally anything edgy. So in keeping with this theme, the festival runs Equus, a play that is all at once unnerving, shocking and just full of WTF moments. In a good way. And by good, I mean, “hmmmm, interesting”, not good in a Candy Crush kind of way.  Highbrow good, know what I mean?

So the Mister and I were sitting in the audience watching this play called Equus, which is highly unnerving. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s the play Daniel Radcliffe did on the West End when he was on school holidays from Hogwarts.  You know, the one where he had to get his kit off in front of everyone?  Yeh, that play.

We’re at the point in the storyline where two of the characters are in the nuddy coz they’re doing their sexy time.  I haven’t seen a naked man other than the Mister in a looong time and I haven’t seen a naked woman since I stopped going to the gym (a loooong time too) and therefore no longer get dressed behind my towel in the change room trying to be all nonchalant about all the nudity in front of me.  I’m not a prude, I’m just not an exhibitionist.

So the nudie bits in the play were not for nothing, and they were part of the storyline, but goddamn those actors had not a stitch of clothing on!  And right there, right at that point in the scene, the fire alarm goes off. So we’re all sitting there thinking, “Hmmm, this is awkward”, and the actors on stage had kind of frozen in their nudity, kind of like someone had hit the pause button on them. A theatre attendant usherette lady comes on stage and says the play has to stop for a bit because there is actually no fire, the alarm just tricked up, and the fire brigade would be there shortly but that it was standard procedure for them to check the premises out anyway – just in cases.

So usherette lady wraps the nudie actors up in big koala fuzz blankets and they mercifully hightail it backstage.  The play resumed again after 15 minutes and the actors took it from where they left off.  Fair play to those guys, I would have DIED of embarrassment but to their credit they were really good about it and if actually garnered them a standing ovation for their professionalism and commitment to their characters and the play.

This is not the only time I have experienced Frozen Sex Scene. I was on an international flight from Hong Kong to Sydney once and one of the movies featured a couple of very nice looking guys. The movie was a foreign film called Habana Blues and as many of you know, with foreign films, particularly those produced in Europe (which this was – it was party produced in Spain), they are quite fond of their sex scenes. So there I am with my first plastic cup of water in two hours, watching my film when BAM! The sex scene hits and the nice looking guy is all nekkid with a lady and there is like nooooooooo prettying it up.  There wasn’t even sexy time background music prior to the act to pre-warn me.

It was going on for about 15 seconds when the captain made an announcement about something mundane like free peanuts or something, and that’s when I realised that my screen had FROZEN on the part where the couple in the film are both … really … enjoying each other’s naked company.  All TV screens had frozen whenever there was an announcement made over the plane’s PA system.

Needless to say,  I was mortified because someone walked past my screen from the toilet back to their seat, and then I think a flight attendant came around to actually give out those free peanut packets and I just didn’t know how to hide my screen. Yikes!

FYI, my review for this crazy night is here.  And this is how Daniel Radcliffe talking about his stage experience:


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