Just pretend like you were sleepin’ …

I don’t even remember what episode of Community this was from, but I swear the closing credits, to me, were funnier than the episode it was closing …

I miss Community. I think it went a little off the rails in the last part of season 3, and then was unrecognisable in season 4, and then tried to pick itself up again in season 5.  Good try though, good try.  Best redeeming episode was in Season 5 when they were receiving their bequeathments from Pierce. Is “bequeathment” a word?  It is now.

Husband’s watching clips of Reggie Watts. I think I’ll join him. xxx

Steve Coogan, can I have your brain?

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I saw a screening of the new Steve Coogan film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa and it was so brilliantly written that now I wish I was Steve Coogan (not Alan Partridge. He’s a c u next Tuesday, if you know what I mean).

I loved when he was all, “That was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mack”.

I loved when they played Always On My Mind to highlight how bad Alan felt for phucking over Pat Farrell (played by Colm Meaney, the best ole Irishman there is, who incidentally also played the best ole cranky Irish dad in The Commitments, who incidentally again was a fan of Elvis Presley, who incidentally again again also sang Always On My Mind, the song they used in the Alan Partridge movie but I think they used the Willie Nelson version).

I love that I cannot for the life of me place where I have seen the lady that plays Lynn, although it’s a British movie so I probably saw her in an episode of Press Gang or something.

I loved that you never really felt like any of the characters were complete f**kwits, despite what I said earlier about Alan Partridge being a c-word. He’s a loveable c-word, know what I mean?

Anyway I thought the movie was really well-written.

Other people whose brains I would like to have:

  • Tina Fey
  • Donald Glover
  • Craig Ferguson
  • Conan O’Brien
  • Judd Apatow
  • Dan Harmon
  • The lady who put this together
  • The guy who put this site together (David Thorne, can I have your brain?)
  • Whoever worked on the writing team for Friends seasons 1-5

It’s so hot right now, I really feel like watching 4 episodes of 30 Rock and then sinking my head in the ocean.

FYI my review for this film is here

How do I not get hit by a bus?

I’m gonna die of stupid someday. How did I get through all these years without being hit by a bus? I’m gonna die alone a crazy cat lady, if the stupidity doesn’t get me first.

Today I had a minor meltdown on the bus on the way home from work after staying back late. I sat in my seat furiously blinking away the tears as I stared into the pages of my book, ironically called How to be Good, even thought I felt so so so so bad.  The book’s actually pretty brilliant, even if it is taking me twice as long to read, because, in a recent state of stupidity, I no longer have the concentration needed to get to the bottom of a page in a paperback novel.

I get home from work only to realise I have next to no clean underwear left for tomorrow and am now reduced to wearing bikini bottoms in lieu of fresh laundry.

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I forgot to renew my car insurance and car rego.

I haven’t eaten dinner yet but I think it’s too late coz it’s 12:30am.

Even though I’ve said that, I am still thinking of watching an episode of something – Communitymaybe? I have yet to decide.

Spoke to my dad on the phone earlier this evening and he asked how the wedding planning was going. Yeh, it’s not, although I do very much enjoy visiting all the lovely reception venues my fiancee and I are unable to afford. Correction, able to afford but unwilling to pay for because we still do want to have some leftover money for things like rent and going out.

How does a seemingly fully functioning adult let everything fall by the wayside? What’s the matter with me?!?!

I want to crawl into a hole containing a chaise lounge, a bucket of popcorn, a 1L bottle of Fanta, a TV and all 10 seasons of Friends ready to go.

Can I do that? Can I just skip out on life for a while?

I speak fluently in television quotes …

  • I can’t believe how influential pop culture is on my daily life. OK, no, I lie.  I can believe it. I am a pop culture junkie. I am not high brow, I won’t even begin to pretend I live a highly cultured life. I’m not saying that I turn away from high art, but I do live life with both Ludwig van Beethoven and Lady Gaga on my playlist.  Living life as a lover of low-brow culture means I am a slave to pop culture references, and it infiltrates my life all the time.

I don’t think I can go through life without attaching a thought or moment to a quote from a TV show or movie.

Like just now, my boyfriend was talking about him and his brothers watching a magician’s performance when they were kids.  After he finished his brief anecdote, I quoted a line from Community during the episode called Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, when Chang explained that he was “A magiciaaaaaan”.  And I laughed because of the delivery of the line.  And I laughed because of the line after it (which is, for those playing at home, “Magic user baby, whaaaaaaat”).

Not many people will understand the reference above. I wonder if there are other people out there who also receive blank stares when referencing a moment in pop culture?

Like these:

  • When someone talks about their insignificant problems (what is now commonly referred to as First World Problems), I follow it up with a line Chandler Bing said in Friends, which goes like this: Oh, I know, this must be so hard. “Oh no, two women love me. They’re both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet’s too small for my fifties AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT.”

Nobody thinks that funny except for me and maybe the 50 Friends fans left in the First World.  Ironically, I’m probably related to about 12 of them.

  • I am with two or more of my friends. One of them is not facing the rest of the group, so we cannot talk to him or her face to face. To remedy this situation, my other friend tells them to turn around. To which I sing in my head: Turn around, bright eyes. Every now and then I fall apart! 

And then I just go into the full song, silently in my head, while the conversation with my social group continues around me.  Does anyone else ever hear Bonnie Tyler in their head

  • I am sitting at work, checking my emails.  One of them is immensely, intensely and mind-numbingly uninteresting.  You know the one?  It usually includes phrases like, “The northern end of the car park is under construction” or “Please ensure you check out HR’s charity cupcake stall on level two”.  I read emails like this and quote Michael Cera from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and think: This is boring. Del-eeete. 
I didn’t even like the movie when I first watched it and now, that line is all I tell myself when I read boring emails at work.  Oh, hahaha, sorry.  Did I say work? I meant at home.  I only read unimportant and insignificant emails at home, never during work hours because everything I read at my place of work is important and interesting and I am service-oriented and will die an employee of Status Quo Pty. Ltd.
I am so sleepy and I need to sleep.  I feel so sleepy.  Sleeeeeepy.  Sleeeepy.  Poppies will put you to sleep.  Sleeeeeeeeeeep ….